Game of Thrones Season 7, Episode 2 "Stormborn" Review
Game of Thrones was inexcusably bad last night. The writing, directing, and editing were all some of Game of Thrones' worst. Since they have run out of Martin’s material, the showrunners and writers of the show have largely struggled to piece together the ending that Martin has told to them. I want to say upfront that the show runners and writers of Game of Thrones have had an excellent track record of adapting Martin’s work. They seem to work best when putting what has already been written onto the screen. But at this point in the show, they are writing their own dialogue and creating their own scenes. And it shows. It is just awful in almost all respects. I thought the first episode of season 7 was good. It seemed to indicate a general improvement, but I was either lulled into a false sense of security or maybe they used up all their writing power for EP 1. I could go on all day about every aspect of Episode 2 (because every aspect left something more to be wanted) but I will just give you a few examples. All of which show why the writing, directing, and editing were all, in my view, quite bad.
Some prefatory matters: the episode was written by Bryan Cogman and directed by Mark Myold. Now David and Dan (the showrunners) obviously are involved in all the writing and give a writing credit to each of their team members, likely by how much contribute to each episode. Cogman has given us some solid episodes in the series. Not the best, but solid. Here he seemed to really be phoning it in. The director, on the other hand, has given us some of the worst of Game of Thrones. Myold has only come into the scene since Season 5. A particular low point for this director would be episode four of season 5 where Selmy is killed and when the sand snakes do their cringe worthy sand-snakey stuff. Regardless of all that, this director has shown no aptitude in directing battle scenes. His best work comes from the American version of Shameless. Not a lot of fantasy battle there. Anyway, all that stuff aside, here are some examples of things that just really irked me last night.
Being Game of Thrones, there was a sex scene. Sort of... Greyworm and Missandei go at it. Sort of... See here is the problem: There are only 12 episodes left, and I know that makes about 3 feature length films, but still there is not a lot of time left in the show. Some of that time seemed wasted last night on a sex scene between a eunuch and a character that is 8 years old in the books. All that aside, it COULD have been a good scene. Instead, it opted for showing one butt shot of Greyworm and several shots of Missandei’s tits and ass. And of course it lasted too long as it showed her getting some head from the unsullied soldier as well. It was just standard Game of Thrones sexposition pretending to be a meaningful love scene. Here is a simple way to make that scene meaningful if you HAD to keep it. Keep the woman’s clothes on for a little bit longer. That’s it. Just do that. Don’t make her strip so damn quickly. Use her clothes to show that she is less vulnerable than Greywom.
The episode, and the show in general, has never shied away from showing us the hard to look at stuff. So that sex scene could have also been an opportunity to show just how badly the unsullied are damaged. Show us all of Greyworm. It would be tough to look at, but it could serve to highlight just how damaged he is as a character and just how far some people are willing to go to make a soldier. That scene could really impact how soldiers are looked at for the rest of the show, not to mention what it shows about Greyworm himself and his relationship with Missandei. Then sure, show her tits and stuff but at least give us the same moment with Greyworm that Missandei is getting. The scene we got was too long (directing/editing) and only really existed for some more sexposition (writing). Oh, and I forgot to mention that scene starts out with Missandei walking away angrily, Greyworm calling her name, and Missandei coming back and continuing their conversation like nothing happened. This trope is irritating as it barely telegraphs the emotion it tries to get across and serves more as a waste of time. In a season that promised so little filler, it feels lazy. Moving on.
Another example was just about everything with Samwell in Oldtown. His work with Jorah is so obviously a contrivance to get Samwell kicked out of the citadel that it hurts. He has no other reason for being there then to learn about dragonglass and save Ser Jorah (of which he has no real justifiable reason to other than the plot seems to want it). The stuff with the “that procedure is illegal” is cliché and only exists to purposefully antagonize the character so that the writers can move him around. While I’m not necessarily opposed to this kind of writing, it is just sad to see in Game of Thrones, where so often everything comes from ACTIVE decisions of the characters not passive plot elements.
At the end of this scene comes the worst transition in the history of all movie and TV show transitions. While driving a scalpel into diseased skin, the show cuts to a spoon going into a pie, so imperceptibly that you don’t know until the camera backs up. Sometimes the show can be funny and strange. I get it. That is fine. Sometimes it works. But when two serious scenes are tied together with a transition that is simply there for gross out and shock value, it comes off as awkward and adds nothing valuable to either of those scenes. In fact, it detracts from both scenes.
Just end the goddamn scene. Just end it and move onto the next one. Stop trying to be clever. Stop using cheap tricks. And stop just trying to shock fans. If all they did was take out that transition, I maybe could tolerate the mediocre writing, but that on top of everything else? Forget about it.
Last example, (I swear. I know it’s getting long) is the big naval battle scene at the end. Euron is apparently capable of not only surprise attack in the open ocean, but also of pinpointing the EXACT ship that Yara and Theon and the Sand Snakes are on. Since that is obviously what he meant by “gift” in the previous episode, this was his plan all along. He didn’t just happen upon this ship. He was actively looking for it. So that bothered me. And of course we got more of that God-awful sand snake dialogue that we all love.
Besides all that, the battle itself was an incoherent mess. Sometimes directors want to highlight the chaos of war by making some keen editing decisions. Saving Private Ryan does in the opening scene. Battle of the Bastards last season did it too. But both of those managed to get that across without actually losing the audience in the fray. The difference between my two examples and the episode is that the former was far more deliberate than the later. The editing in this battle was just erratic and nonsensical. It was there to clearly hide mistakes such as the lack of convincing choreography. Most of the time I could not exactly tell what was going on.
Overall, these things may seem like nitpicks but they all represent certain amount of laziness the show has taken on. Lazy writing. Lazy directing and editing. Lazy story telling. Just look at how and when characters travel. Characters travel at whatever rate the plot needs them to. This fully summarizes my general problem with Game of Thrones lately, the plot is moving the characters and the characters aren’t moving themselves. That makes them passive and uninteresting. The plot is twisting and killing any originality that the natural writing of the show is trying to create.
I spent a lot time complaining about this episode, and could do more, because it could have been better. That is what infuriates me so much. There were simple ways to make it better. It’s so frustrating to see writing that needed another round of editing, or directors that obviously don't know how to handle their material. I know, I'm not a director or a maker of film, but that does not exempt directors or writers or show runners from criticism. I'm not a professional chef either but I would still be bothered if I got served a cheeseburger when I ordered a steak.
If you like the show or think it’s good then that’s fine, but I just cannot stand by while people continue to suck Game of Throne’s dick like it’s the best thing in the world. I’m not trying to be a contrarian. It could and should be better than it is. As viewers we need to demand better told stories and not just settle and delude ourselves into thinking something is good when it’s not. This is especially important when the majority of this show HAS been quite good.
All that said, I am going to finish the show. Mama didn’t raise no quitter. And at this point I need to see how the train-wreck ends. I pray that this was just a hiccup, but given the indication of the last two seasons, it is not. We are in for a show that will contrive its way to what will ultimately (I predict) be an unsatisfying ending.
